In the past few weeks, Rick Santorum has chalked up some huge victories (MN, MO and CO) with virtually no money or resources. All he had was a tailored message. The parallels to successful self-publishing became obvious.
I’m a political junkie and I started thinking of all the presidential candidates as if they were self-published authors. Here are my thoughts:
President Obama: He’s publishes Hope & Change, a book that goes viral and out of nowhere the guy is big-time. He takes on traditional publishing (aka Hillary). He builds a great online marketing strategy and begins to sell Hope & Change based on the cover alone, causing people to impulse buy without even reading the content. After shooting to the top of the bestseller’s list (aka the presidency), he rests on his laurels and becomes a traditional publishing sell-out, losing all of his indie street cred. Now, his second book is about to be released by a traditional publisher and the reviews are mixed. His writing has suffered and in his attempt to appeal to everyone, the original Hope & Change fan base has eroded. One HUGE advantage he has is that the other books (Republican candidates) in his genre are pretty bad.
Rick Santorum: Like many self-published authors, Santorum was basically unknown when he started and had little to no money to market his book, I’m Not Those Guys. With no advertising budget, he did the only thing he could do — he got in car and drove to every county in Iowa to peddle his book. Hand-to-hand selling worked there. As the word got out about I’m Not Those Guys, he started to pick up readers along the way. Senator Santorum has a solid understanding of who his audience is and he laser-targets them. He knows they can only afford to buy one book and he’s up against I’m Whoever You Want Me To Be Right Now, How To Get Hot Babes With Big Ideas, and I’m Gaga for The Gold Standard.
Mitt Romney: If you asked Mitt, “Whose your target audience?”, you’d likely get an answer like this, “Everyone in the U.S. who can vote.” That’s the problem with Mitt’s new book I’m Whoever You Want Me To Be Right Now. He claims his book is for everyone between 9-90. Mitt’s book is also all over the place. There are liberal chapters, conservative ones, middle-of-the-road ones. It’s almost like he had ghostwriters at different stages. How many voices can one guy have? Mitt is also one of those authors with a ton of money who just wants to spend it on marketing without a real game plan. He does the political equivalent of printing up thousands of bookmarks or mousepads for a book. Keep throwing money at it with hope that I’m Whoever You Want Me To Be Right Now can out last the books with smaller marketing budgets.
Newt Gingrich: Newt is that author who drops names about all of the people in the publishing business who loved his book. Oh, really? Well then why are you self-publishing? Newt’s answer is, “Because I don’t fit in any genre. They don’t know how to sell my work. I just have too many big ideas.” The market for Newt’s book keeps eroding. Obviously aimed at large bullies who want to get thin blondes, How To Get Hot Babes With Big Ideas, took off initially. But, then a major roadblock. It turns out that Newt left out the most important chapter — the one that says in order to be and look like Newt, yet still get hot blondes, you need to collect millions from Fannie and Freddie and have a $500,000 line of credit from Tiffany’s. After that reveal, interest in How To Get Hot Babes With Big Ideas tanked everywhere but South Carolina.
Ron Paul: Dr. Paul’s self-published rant, I’m Gaga for The Gold Standard, has a solid niche, aimed at the world order conspiracy crowd. His book sales peak every four years when he runs for president. Dr. Paul proved that even celebrity endorsements may not help a self-published title gain momentum. The endorsement by Kelly Clarkson did nothing.
The one thing all of these candidates can do well, is provide examples on what not to do with your self-published books.
This is hilarious. Thanks for the hearty belly-laugh!